Muslim Kid

A few things, very closely related. In fact, they are the same points, just put in different context: different people will like different scenarios.

If a woman were to wear Hijab because her husband asked her to: would there be any benefit to it? If she immersed herself in a environment where she was constantly dictated why the Hijab is so necessary, might she actually begin wearing Hijab for the sake of Allah and Allah alone? Similarly, if one spends his time in the accompaniment of righteous individuals, might he become sincere? The opposite can be said that if he spends time with corrupt and unrestrained souls, his soul might be tainted? After being exposed to those people, how does he go about freeing his soul from those stains?


Insincerity is so detrimental, it will literally destroy you. It rivals with pride, they might actually be synonymic concepts. You are insincere because your pride doesn't let you be sincere (or ignorance could be the culprit preventing the sincerity). The status of how fatal pride can be for the soul is well known from the famous Hadith: "A person with a mustard grain of pride in his heart will not enter Janaah"

Consistent sinning is also very hazardous to the state of our souls and often bodies. The world, your nafs (desires) kick one down to the filthy ground and if one chooses to remain there by continuing the sin that initially brought them down, they secure a place in filth for themselves. The longer they remain, the dirtier their garments will become and the stains harder to remove.

So the question is: Should one attempt to seek repentance, even though it is outright insincere and more so a routine procedure?


Here is an example context for the conflict posed above:

Zayd likes to eat McDonald fries. His parents have always taught him to eat Zabiha, so he does. When his friend told him that the friends were not Zabiha, he hesitated but having already tasted a few of the delicious meat-flavored fries, he could resist. He fell into temptations and ate the non-Zabiha fries. After that initial time where he knowingly and intentionally challenged his beliefs, it is easy for him to eat McDonald fries with his non-Muslim friends.

The other day, something overcome Zayd and now he really thinks about those fries he has been eating. He knows he shouldn’t be eating them in the first place but they taste so good. He does have a very strong understanding of why one should Zabiha and stay away from non-Zabiha yet after becoming accustomed to eating the fries--he feels as if he should be able to eat them. This feeling while his friends, family and religious leader call his nafs controlling him or Shaytan at large, he feels that he in fact lost his grasp on understanding what exactly is wrong with eating non-Zabiha, he thinks, I mean it is Halal. It doesn't even mention the concept of Zabiha in the Quran.

So is Zayd's position due to a newly created ignorance from continuous sinning? If so, should he seek repentance and stop as those near to him suggest he do so? How is he suppose to stop eating these fries if he has developed a belief that these fries really are be permissible to eat? If he seeks forgiveness, might he eventually understand why he should not; will it come naturally?

I didn't want to write such a long comment so I made it into a post. I wish I could write an even lengthier response but time won't permit it so let me respond now rather than never.

"A sign of spiritual bankrupt is the constant seeking of accompaniment"

We should desire to be alone. BrNaeem, usually what you to me is like second to what Shaykh Husain might say. I've come to trust your judgment on any issue yet this time, while I don't disagree, I don't agree.

Isolation--being alone scares the crap out of me. It remotely reminds me of a statement of a great Shaykh, don't really know a lot about him but found a whole site dedicated to him, his name is: Hakim al-Umma Mawlana Ashraf 'Ali Thanawi.

It went something like. "Among us there is a man who has not looked at a female since he reaches puberty, he has... (Don’t remember) and he has never looked up at the sky because of the fear of the wrath of Allah. While he does not come forward at first, after a while he came up and stated, "Oh you have found my secret. It is me who you speak of""

That third part, a person not looking up into the sky because they are afraid because the sky is one of the clearest verses/proofs of Allah's power. Nature in general is but the sky, Subhanallah. I can agree with this statement.

So in respect to Isolation: How can we go into Isolation and REALLY REALLY be ALONE with just us and God. That is what Salah is, what it is intended to be at least, but actually achieving that level of spirituality where your Salah is not established but perfected and you pray in the state of Ihsan (as if Allah see's you); while it is amazing it is also scary!

Sometimes I feel like crying, I am a coward because I feel almost UNLUCKY that I can distinguish wrong from right when I clearly desire what is wrong.

If you retreat into Isolation: Think to yourself of the wrath of Allah that we live lives where we constantly intentional and continuously sin. It’s funny how we live such erroneous lives and console ourselves by saying, "oh this is not fully practical" and "and this is permissible in modern times" when in fact, looking at the companions, what was "permissible" to them...was what Islamic permitted. We intertwine our Islam around our lives and not our lives around Islam.

We say that Islam is a way of life but we honestly don’t live like that. And WE KNOW we are wrong. So how can we go into isolation when you face the true ugliness of your actions, when you know you live horrible lives and will burn in hell for every sin? Do we accept that what we are doing is wrong and yet dare indulge in spiritual isolation...how can you even do that?

I don't think Isolation is completely bad but I think it has boundaries. Everyone who goes into Isolation either must be very disciplined, blessed and knowledgeable (Imam Ghazali) or else you come out a nutcase (a lot of "intellectual" from the last two centuries...I mean they went into Isolation too right? and theoretically, if isolation is good, they should find God..Many don't?)

While in completely Isolation you can find God, you can also find Shaytan too. So I believe that you should go into "isolation" but even then, under those above you who are more righteous a can set boundaries for you.

At ICC, the Lailatul Qadr Night dua, for 50 minutes Shaykh Husain basically cried. Today I re listened to it and it really made me think about how scary it is to be in complete isolation without anyone assuring you that indeed God is merciful. To think that Shaykh Husain, who is the Best Muslim (from what I can judge him on), and if he cries asking Allah for forgiveness. Oh my God, Ya Allah, what about the rest of us?

It makes me tremble to think of that. I know that everything I said can be argued because if I am giving such importance to the wrath of Allah, then I should also give importance to the Mercy of Allah and if one can come to a conclusion of how deeply we sin and what our fates will be on the Day of Judgment, we should also conclude that Allah is Ar-Rahman, meaning we should hope that he will forgive us. I would like to say that how can we battle for sure punishment with hope but that would doubting Allah mercy's.

I don't know if everything I wrote makes sense but I feel like I'm at a period in life where I'm really beginning to question things--everything.

I italicized some of the major things I felt need to be stressed.

"There are six of you brothers and one sister; all we know for sure is that you all care about the well being of your sister so stop blaming each other." -- My mom's ultimate wisdom.

Yesterday we went to a family party to a close family friend’s house and it was really quite amazing. One of my dad's good friends, never seen him mad before like this, he exploded! He has a younger brother, around early thirties maybe, who I am actually very "tight" with, since he is very "modern" and we can relate easily. Those were the two brothers present, (it was at the younger brothers house) and of course, my family. My family is very close with the older brother's family (who's wife is actually my dad's cousin I'm pretty sure), which is basically how we met all the other brothers and their families.

Yesterday all the adults, which include: my parents, the older brother and his wife, and the younger brother and his wife, were all talking. Me, my older sister, and my younger sister, were all listening, yet not saying a word (which would be seen as disrespectful, *the young should not talk when elders are speaking*).

Here is how the conflict sort of went:

My dad: "So I don't understand your sister's full story? Why did she get divorced?"
Older Brother: "That son of a bitch married her only for a Greencard!"
Younger Brother: "Oh whatever, you three older brothers ruined her life! He--"
Older Brother: "Don't you dare mention that bastards name in front of me"
Younger Brother: "Why? If anything she is the one to blame! She is a disgrace to our family now, that whore"
Older Brother: "Shut up! How dare you? It was his fault. He married her for the Greencard and that's it."
My mom: "Please (younger brother’s name) stop. She's your older sister!"
Younger Brother: "No, See, I have nothing against her. I have something against all these older brothers for ruining her life! They interfered into her life and destroyed her relationship with her husband. Or else my sister could have been happily married to her husband"
Older Brother: "Stop mentioning that rascal, son of a bitch's name here. You can compliment him all you want but not when I am here"
Older Brother's wife: "Okay stop please, both of you"
-Older Brother puts on jacket and is about to walk about when his wife stops him and tells him to calm down and not get mad over it-
Older Brothers wife (to younger brother): "All the praying at your fathers grave, all your good deeds, you just wiped them away. Good job. What’s wrong with you? Go apologize; he is like your father!"
Younger Brother's wife (to younger brother): "Go apologize please, she's right, he is like your father! He raised you! Even if it is just for that sake, don't talk to him in that tone."
-Younger Brother just stays quiet-

From what I know and have observed the sister married some guy that she wanted to and her brothers went along with it. They were together for more than 5-6 years, had a kid (very nice kid) and then...well basically, the older brothers started budding in and something happened and the sister wanted divorce from her husband. So now, she is dead miserable providing for her son and her ex husband has married another woman and has three kids with her.

Currently, only the older brother talks to the sister and amazingly the rest of them just think of her as a disgrace and "a whore" and I don't understand that part but I know her too and the only thing that could conjure that idea is that she is very very outgoing and seemingly happy. All this is so very sad. Her independence and her always happy attitude is her way of staying happy--Should she accept lost by telling herself she isn't happy?

Why does this matter to me at all? Well--you see, my older sister has become very "independent", very feminist-like and it scares me. We disagree on everything, she thinks I am a "fundamentalist" and I think of her as a "feminist". I hate her kind and she hates my kind (exaggeration) but my point is...what if this happens to us? Who is wrong, who is right? What would be right solution?

Here are some of my very fundamental beliefs. The relationship between a husband and wife is very sacred, more than any other relationship besides one's duty to God, and his or her parents. That’s it, nothing else is more important than your relationship with spouse. With that in mind, I agree with the younger brother on the fact that they should not have interfered with her relationship with her husband. When me and my sister (my younger sister is not too extreme on either side unlike the two of us) were arguing about this in the car ride back home, my older sister kept arguing that whatever happened in the past needs to be forgotten and they need to help her because she a struggling single parent.

I agree with that yet she seems to be wrongly thinking that if I were in the situation, I would also think of my divorced sister as a "disgrace"; I wouldn't. As humans, we make mistakes and of course divorces do occur (Last, last, last resort). On the other hand, I blame her brothers for interfering in the relationship to such an extent that they broke a five-six year relationship between a husband and his wife.

That is just really --for lack of a better word-- fucked up. I told my sisters right there that if I told them something and their husband told them something else, please side with your husbands! It kind of goes to the scenario of picking your own wife, please do pick wisely because this is someone YOU will have to live with for the rest of your life; not your parents or relatives (they should have influence obviously).

I was discussing all this with a friend and this is the best way to phrase it:

"We keep talking in all our classes about isolation and being alone and "discovering yourself", Oh my God, really, that drives me insane. I hate the thought of real isolation, just you and your thoughts. It would make me crazy literally. Its kind of like, you need someone to stand with you, at least one person who will always be in your brains and understand your thoughts; just to make sure your not going crazy. Its like, we all believe a certain way and we think we are right: if you ask someone to change something, if you try to explain something to them and differ their opinion...Why? Its because you care about them so much that, well if you think you are doing is what is right to go to Heaven then you want them to do the same because you want them to Heaven too! But that level of closeness is so so deep, and that's how your relationship with your wife should be! And its so so so aggravating when you try and tell someone you care about and they really don't give a shit. There is nothing you can do about it if the person doesn't understand how much you care about them. Remember, when you "agree to disagree", you fail that person because you've not compromised something that you both can agree on honestly so instead you just choose to disagree."

This post is horrible, a mix of bad grammar, unclear thoughts and awkward sentences but hey it’s my blog and I don't have anyone who I could tell all this to.

What the hell have I been trying to say in the past 30 paragraphs? 3 words: I hate feminists. I think they destroy society by their claims to these unnatural rights (of course I am speaking on a very stereotypical level, a lot of the times, a woman truly does need to ask for her rights!) I don't like girls being too independent and feminists are just too God damn independent. Don't get me wrong, even before feminists; I blame those jerk ass men who create these feminists through their injustice and abuse of power. If you give a woman more than just her rights--never give her something to complain about (although they do complain a lot: P)--they're wouldn't be so many women asking for their rights and asserting their "independence"

But hey! What do I know? A fifteen year old who is basing his whole interpretation of the female race on a few incidents and the few close female friends I have. I like the statement that: "Females are the worst of creatures...and the best of creatures."

To all the females out there. Please be "the best of creatures". May Allah guides us all on the straight path. If I am unhealthily conservative (which at this point I feel like I am but just witnessing all the recent exposure too this non-sense over and over has made me like this. Females thank your fellow females!), then may God help me. If there is some truth in what I am saying, please let it pierce your hearts. Something Shaykh Husain would say: "Assurance is essential but arrogance is detrimental"...

Am I wrong on everything I am saying?

The other day I went for Isha at ICC after a long time, a few weeks at least. At first it was very quiet and uncrowded but slowly people started coming in and we actually were able to have two full rows Mashallah.

A few or maybe one sister (maybe a middle aged woman) actually came. The people divided the masjid with this curtain and it made me so happy that ICC had arrangements for the sisters too. I know they have facilities upstairs for when they have lectures but have always wondered if only a one or two sisters came to pray, then what? Thank you ICC, you never disappoint. (But then again, if you have Mufti Kamani and Shaykh Husain as the leading members of the community, what else can you expect?)

Speaking of Shaykh Husain, I saw him there. Though, right when I saw him the jamaah started praying four fard and so I could not greet him then. As the namaz finished, I wanted to greet him and waited for the end of the dua and everyone doing thier short dikrs. And then out of nowhere he left! He just got up and walked out.

"It is actaully the Sunnah of the Prophet(S) to pray Fard in the masjid and the Sunnah in the house so that the Baraqa may be shared. Its like doing your spritual shopping, you need to come and shop for sprituality at the masjid and take it home and feed your family. Its hard but if because when we get home we get lazy but that is something we should all try to achieve"

Subhanallah. Ya Allah bless us with more like him who say what they preach and preach what they say. Little things like that make me very happy.

-Muslim Kid-